Navy Men Do Not Give Up
by shondalandfan
Summary: Olivia made her choice and Jake is trying to accept it, although he is still in love with her. Jake blames Liv for his wife's death and comes to the realization that the woman he loves is spitting image of the man he hates. Jake tries to push away, but something always draws him back. Will Jake's heart find closure? Starts midway through season 5. Olake.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfiction for this site. I know this site has a lot of Olitz shippers and that is fine, but this is an Olake story, This story starts with Olivia and Jake's conversation in Season 5 Episode 7. I do not own any of the characters they all belong to the fabulous Ms. Shonda Rhimes! The quotes in this chapter come directly from that episode. I hope you all enjoy and I would love any and all feedback you have! Enjoy!

Finally she was going to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. A night to herself; where she could take a moment to breathe. At last she was able step out of her suffocating new life in the White House. And sure she knew how to play her new part, and she played it well. But she was Olivia Pope… a fixer, a business woman; she was not Olivia Pope the hostess.

Olivia was happy to be riding the elevator up to her apartment, she could not remember the last time she had sleep in her own bed. As Olivia turned the key and opened the door slowly she felt her heart rate increase and a sense of uncertainty washed over her. Olivia knew that she was not alone and that frightened her.

"Dad?" she questioned as she slowly entered the room.

"Not so lucky." Jake replied from the darkness as Olivia quickly turned around and flipped on the lights. She saw Jake sitting on her sofa with a bottle of wine on the table and a glass in his hand.

"This wine isn't very good. Sit down." Jake said nonchalantly as he placed his wine glass on the coffee table.

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked, matching his tone, as she walked over to the sofa. She wasn't very happy with the fact that Jake had casually broken into her apartment and made himself at home. Considering where the two of them stood at the moment Olivia really wasn't in the mood to deal with Jake.

"I don't know a lot about wine, but this is terrible. I said sit down." Jake repeated. He had been waiting for Olivia to come back and he wasn't gonna let her just kick him out. Olivia simply crossed her arms over her chest. "Sit down!" Jake demanded raising his voice to a shout. Olivia didn't respond, but made her way over to the chair across from Jake without breaking eye contact with him.

After Olivia took a seat and Jake knew he had her attention he continued calmly. "You know what I admire about Rowan. He doesn't claim to be anything he's not. He knows what he is, he revels in it. You...you preach about wearing some dumb white hat." Olivia began to fidget as Jake was making her feel uncomfortable, Olivia really wasn't in the mood to discuss her father and she didn't appreciate what Jake was saying about her, "You think if you feel bad for a while, drink some wine, take in strays, it will wipe away….are you blind Olivia? Or do refuse to see? Or do you really not know what you are? Jake questioned raising his voice a little and leaning forward.

"You're drunk and sad. I think you should go." Olivia replied keeping an even tone. She really didn't want to be playing this game with Jake.

"He killed Elise. Elise is dead." Jake responded. This caught Liv's attention. She felt bad, she knew Jake cared for her… they were married, which was something she felt uncomfortable about. However, she had never intended for her to be killed. "My wife she's dead he killed her. Actually it was you. You freed Rowan, Rowan put a bullet in her back know she is dead, so you killed her." Jake continued as pain and sorrow etched itself onto Liv's face. Jake was right. She didn't kill Elise, but she was responsible for her death and that was something she couldn't take back. "O, you didn't think about that. Do the math; factor in the people your father killed in the past, all those people, maybe estimate the dead people yet to come. Really Olivia you didn't think about the body count you'd rack up when you let a mass murder and his crazy sidekick out of prison."

"Jake. If I had known, if I had thought for even a second." Olivia started to explain herself, before she was interrupted.

"The woman I love killed the woman I used to love or the woman I used to love killed the woman I loved… I can't figure it out. I am so tired of being our Father's son." There it was again love and her in the same sentence. Olivia knew the way Jake felt about her, but she thought that maybe after she made her choice he would be able to move on. Olivia couldn't help but feel responsible for Jake's pain, but there was nothing she could do about it, he was hurting and placing a lot of blame on her shoulders, which she understood even if she didn't agree with it. Liv felt helpless because Jake was in so much pain, but she couldn't feel too bad for him because he was continuously attacking her over this situation. "But, you don't get tired do you. You just keep going, spreading like a plague. How does someone as brilliant as you and as accomplished as you not know what you are? Who you are?" Jake asked

"What?" Olivia asked after a moment of silence, intrigued to see what Jake's answer would be. Olivia had an idea of what Jake was trying to say, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"You…we all heard that Rowan gave up on you, a long time ago that he'd failed and that's why he started training us as these sons. But I think we got it wrong you just let a murder out of prison not for the good of the republic, but because you wanted to because it personally served you and I don't see any impeachment hearings and I don't see a wedding ring on that finger. You are Rowan's greatest achievement. You have become exactly the woman he raised you to be. Power hungry. Entitled. Dangerous. And the beauty of it is you don't even know it." Jake finished.

Olivia listened as Jake went on this rant, keeping an expressionless tone not wanting him to see what she was thinking, because the truth scared her. The more she sat there and listen to Jake rant about her father and who she was the more she heard the truth in his words and that was not something she wanted to think about. Olivia had spent her entire adult life striving to be better than her father and to hear that she had failed, that she was just like him, it hurt. Once Jake finished Olivia took a deep breath, she couldn't do this any longer. It was time for Jake to leave.

"You're grieving and I am so sorry for that, but I want you to go. NOW!" Olivia said as she stood up and glanced towards the door. She wanted Jake gone.

Jake got the message, as he stood up and made his way over to Liv. Olivia took a small step back as Jake approached her, but she knew deep down he wouldn't do anything to harm her. Jake simply moved closer to Liv, closing the gap between their bodies, he picked her chin up gently and softly placed his lips on hers as a goodbye kiss. Jake then preceded to leave knowing he had made is point clear, although he wasn't really sure of what he had accomplished, but he did feel better.

Olivia stood there shaking, in shock. Jake was always one to be brutally honest with her and most of the time she appreciated that, just not tonight. She didn't want to think about her father, she didn't want to think about Fitz, she didn't want to think about Jake she just wanted to be alone.

Olivia took a quick shower before putting on her pajamas and getting into the bed she had missed so much since moving into the White House. Liv tried to block out all her thoughts and focus on sleep, but it was heard. Between what Jake had said and everything going on in the White House and with Fitz her mind was running at a mile a minute and it was making it hard to sleep. That's all she wanted a good night's sleep where she didn't have to think about foreign affairs or Fitz finding out she let her dad out. Olivia's brained slowed down just long enough for her eyes to close and the thinking to stop.


	2. Chapter 2

I hope everyone has been enjoying this story so far, here is the next chapter for you all. This chapter plays off season 5 episode 8 a little bit. I would love to hear what you all think. There are a couple of quotes from the episode. I do not own any of those quotes and the characters and everything you recognize belong to Shonda Rhimes.

Jake had had enough of Olivia since he walked into the Oval Office a few minutes ago. It was always an honor for him to serve at the pleasure of the President even if he didn't always agree with Fitz's philosophy. However, when he walked into the Oval Office on this particular afternoon he didn't see the President waiting for him… no he saw Olivia Pope, the last person he wanted to be talking to right now. He and Olivia had spent the last few minutes arguing about a favor she wanted, but the time of him doing favors for her were over. She didn't need him anymore. If she needed something all she had to do was ask her boyfriend, the Leader of the Free World, surely he would do anything for is Livvy.

Jake was about to leave when she caught his attention.

"I was supposed to choose you." Liv replied calmly.

"What?" Jake asked turning around. He was confused; she wasn't supposed to choose him. All along he knew that in the end she would choose Fitz and although he loved her more than she could ever love him Jake tried to accept that reality. In Olivia's world he would always be second fiddle to Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III.

"You told me to choose Fitz. After Mellie left you told me that if I loved him than I should go be with him. And I did. But that's not what you meant. What you really meant was choose me. You wanted me to admit that I didn't love him anymore and that I wanted to be with you. You're jealous that I didn't choose you." Olivia replied coldly

Jake could not believe his ears; she had to be joking right. Olivia was stooping this low to try and take a shot at him. Jake just wanted Liv to be happy and he didn't want to force her to choose him when she was in love with the President. Were there times Jake wanted Olivia to love him the way he loved her? Yes. But as they say, you can't always get what you want.

"No Liv. You were supposed to be too good for me. It never crossed my mind that I would be too good for you." Jake said as he walked back towards her raising his voice.

"After everything I have forgiving you…" Olivia began moving closer to Jake, but was interrupted.

"Everything you have forgiven me for. What about everything I have forgiven you for?" Jake shot back. "Betrayal. Dismantling B-613. Killing my wife." Jake said counting them off on his finger.

"Jake, that's not fair." Olivia whispered, as the weight of Jake's words hit her.

"And why not?" Jake asked. "Now we're even. I don't owe you anything and you don't own me anything. Don't ever summon me to the Oval again because you Olivia are not the President." And with that Jake turned on his heels, leaving Olivia speechless.

"Mr. President." Jake said as he opened the door and nearly ran into Fitz.

"Jake." Fitz replied surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just updating Olivia on her father, sir." Jake answered.

"Any news?" Fitz asked.

"Not yet, but I have just started looking into his whereabouts. When I find something you will be the first to know." Jake responded.

"Thank you Captain Ballard." Fitz said, as he proceeded into the Oval letting Jake continue on his way.

Jake left the White House more frustrated than he when he arrived. Jake knew from the beginning that investigating Rowan's escape was going to be a conflict of interest, but Jake couldn't say no to the President. Jake didn't have an allegiance to Olivia anymore, but for some reason he felt obligated to keep her secret until she was ready to fess up. Jake decided that he was going to let Olivia deal with Fitz and that he was just going to work at the task given to him: find Rowan and kill him.

Jake called on Huck to help him gather entail but that was all the evolvement that Huck wanted. Jake was left on his own, but he was fine with that, he was always a do it yourself kind of guy and he preferred working alone. Jake worked diligently going through the information he had gotten from Huck while he waited for the facial recognition software to run through all the traffic cam footage that Huck obtained.

It was late, and Jake was still shifting through papers when he heard his phone vibrating on the desk. He glanced over it and saw Olivia's name on the screen. Jake didn't want to answer, especially with the way things had gone earlier that afternoon in the Oval, but when it came to Olivia it was hard for Jake to say no. Jake took a deep breath before picking up. "Olivia." Jake stated. "Jake." Olivia responded, her voice soft and shaky. It took every bone in Jake's body not to ask her what was wrong, as the pain in her voice was so clear. There was a long pause before Jake said anything

"What?" Jake asked harsher than intended, but he had to stern to let Olivia know the days of crying on his shoulder were over.

"It's just…" Olivia paused not knowing why she called. Well, she knew why she called she just didn't know what to say. Olivia wanted to talk to Jake and try and move past whatever wall had been built between them that afternoon. The truth was that Olivia needed him. Jake was her rock and was always there to keep her grounded in ways that Fitz couldn't. It pained Olivia that she wasn't able to love Jake the way she loved Fitz, but that didn't mean she didn't love him or didn't need him, she did.

"Spit it out Liv." Jake said impatiently as he stared at his computer screen watching the traffic cam photos blur across the screen. Jake didn't want Liv's pity and if she had something to say to him he wanted her to just come out and say it.

"I told him." Liv commented.

"I know, but that's not going to keep me from going after your father." Jake replied, knowing that Olivia had told Fitz because he received a call a little while ago from Fitz. Jake had new orders to bring Rowan in…alive. "Is that all?" Jake asked.

"I need you." Olivia whispered, scared of her own words although she knew them to be true.

"Excuse me?" Jake questioned, not really understanding the meaning of Liv's statement. What did it matter if she needed him, he was on the outside now. However, there was a small piece of Jake that thought for a brief moment that the sun had not set after all and that maybe there was a small shimmer of hope.

"I'm sorry about today. I know things are hard on you and that I am always calling on you, but it's because I need you. I need you on my side Jake." Olivia said softly.

"I will always be on your side." Jake paused letting Olivia know he was sincere, "But what does I need you even mean? Don't give me false hope of standing in the sun."

"I don't know what it means Jake, but I can't lose you." Olivia pleaded. Olivia heard footsteps letting her know that she only had a few moments left. "I have to go Jake. " And with those final words the line went dead.

So much for building a wall Jake thought to himself as he placed his phone back on the desk and ran his fingers through his hair letting out a deep breath. Jake had worked so hard to put distance between him and Olivia, but with one phone call that was all gone. Jake believed Olivia, but he didn't know what those words meant. However, Jake did know one thing, for better or for worse; he was still very much in love with Olivia Pope.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing my story, I hope all of you are enjoying it so far! Here is the next chapter. I am trying to decide if I want this story to parallel the show or not. What do you think? Your thoughts on this would be much appreciated! This chapter does contain SMUT, just an FYI! Enjoy!

Olivia opened a fresh bottle of wine, grabbed her signature wine glass and popped a bowl of popcorn before taking a seat on her new plumb colored couch that had been delivered minutes earlier. This was her fresh start, clean slate. She had just set herself free from Fitz after realizing that he was suffocating her and keeping her hostage. After years of sneaking around, tabloid stories, and broken promises Olivia thought that she finally had what she had been dreaming about for years: Fitz, and a true relationship. But, the more time she spent in the White House running around playing hostess the more her new life ate away at her. Olivia wanted more for herself and the reality of life with Fitz was not what she wanted, it wasn't working. Not for her anyway.

It was painful and hard to walk away from him, but Olivia knew that it was for the best. Ever since she had moved into the White House their relationship had changed and in the end it didn't work. Olivia had escaped a life that was holding her back and making her into a woman she wasn't and now it was time for her to move on and focus on herself. Olivia had to rediscover what she wanted in life and the person she wanted to be.

As Olivia sat on the couch she realized for the first time in as long as she could remember she was alone, truly alone. Jake had left her so she could be with Fitz and now Fitz was no longer in the picture, so it was just Liv...alone. True loneliness scared her. After two glasses of wine and half a bowl of popcorn Olivia grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she came to his name. She stared at her phone for a few minutes, her finger hovering over the screen trying to decide if she wanted to call him. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know if he would even pick up, but she did know she needed someone; she needed him. Olivia pressed call, put the phone up to her ear and waited, nervously listening to it ring.

"Olivia." Jake answered, clearly surprised she was calling.

"Jake." Olivia replied in a soft even tone. "It's over."

Jake raised his eyebrows in disbelief; he didn't need an explanation to know what Liv was talking about. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just realized that Vermont was a dream not a reality." Olivia responded running a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry Liv." Jake said not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be, we tried and it didn't work." Liv replied nonchalantly, brushing off Jake's words.

"Come on Liv, this isn't nothing. It's ok to be have emotions, be sad or angry or whatever." Jake commented, not buying Liv's tough shell. Jake knew how much Olivia loved Fitz and that she had to be hurting more than she was letting on.

"I'm alone Jake. All alone. I don't remember the last time I was alone. I lost you and now I lost him." Olivia whispered.

"Hey. You didn't lose me, I am right here, I will always be here." Jake comforted. "Why don't I come over and bring some Gettysburger's and you don't have to be alone tonight?"

"I would like that Jake." Olivia replied smiling. He did it again; no matter how hard she pushed him away Jake was always there. Sure there were times where Olivia blatantly took advantage of the fact that Jake was always there, but deep down she really did appreciate it.

"Great. I will be over there as soon as I can." Jake replied and with that he hung up. Jake mentally kicked himself for falling back into Olivia's grasp, but he couldn't help it; he loved her.

A short while later Olivia heard a knock at the door, she got up eagerly and checked the pep hole before undoing all of the locks and opening the door. Jake stood there in a pair of dark wash jeans, grey t-shirt and a simple black coat, holding a bag of takeout. Olivia stepped aside smiling as she let him in. Jake proceeded to her kitchen and began preparing two plates.

"I assumed you would have wine so I didn't get you anything to drink." Jake said as he pulled a bottle of beer from the bag.

"You assumed correctly." Olivia said as she took her plate. She and Jake made their way back to the living room and sat on the couch. "Thanks for coming and bringing food." Olivia commented as she flipped through the channels to find something other than the news to watch. She settled on a cooking show before focusing on her food. Jake and Olivia ate in relative silence sharing a few pleasantries.

When the show ended Jake carried their dishes into the kitchen, throwing away the trash and placing the plates in the sink before returning to the couch, sitting next to Liv. "Do you want to talk about this?" Olivia didn't say anything; instead she lifted her head up and gazed into his green eyes and placed a hand on his cheek running her thumb across his thin stubble. Jake sat very still looking into Olivia's brown eyes and the next thing he knew she was pressing her lips against his. Jake invited the kiss for a moment before pulling away. He shouldn't be doing this; she had just ended it with Fitz and he was there, she was using him like she had done time and time again.

"Liv." Jake said gently as he held her arms. Olivia turned her head, embarrassed to face him. "Look at me." Jake commented, his voice soft. It took Olivia a minute, but she slowly turned around, looking up into Jake's face. As Olivia's gaze met Jake's his heart ached as he saw the pain etched into her face and the loneliness in her eyes. "I can't do this again Liv. I don't want to be your rebound." Jake added.

"I know." Liv admitted guiltily, dropping her head to stare at her hands. "I feel nothing. Not anger. Not sadness. Nothing. I need to feel something. I need you. You help me feel." Liv finished as she looked back up into Jake's face.

"You need me. You need to feel." Jake repeated out loud, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. Somehow Olivia always knew what buttons to push when it came to Jake because she almost always got her way with him.

Jake caressed Liv's face before his lips came crashing down on hers. Olivia deepened the kiss and wrapped her legs around Jake's waist as Jake leaned down so they were both lying on the couch. Olivia gasped as Jake's hot lips kissed her neck. Olivia began to run her hands through Jake's hair, letting out a load moan as one of his hands had snaked its way under his shirt and was now massaging her right breast. Olivia was definitely feeling in that moment and she loved the way Jake's body made her feel. Jake's lips were slowing making their way down her neck to her collarbone and Olivia couldn't stop her hips from grinding up into his. Olivia need more, so she reached for the hem of Jake's shirt. Jake sat up to assist her and pulled his grey t-shirt up over his head and threw it behind the couch. Olivia arms reached up and began roaming his muscular chest. Jake swiftly pulled Olivia up, her legs still wrapped around her waist, and kissed her passionately. Jake broke this kiss long enough to help Olivia out of her blue blouse and unclipped her bra, peppering her shoulders with light kisses as he slowly lowered the straps. Olivia leaned in kissing Jake, moaning as her chest met Jake's bare chest sending a warm frenzy through her body. Jake felt himself growing in his jeans, as Olivia continued to slowly circulate her hips rubbing up against him. With Olivia's lips still on his Jake stood up, causing Olivia to let out a small shriek in delight.

As Jake guided them down the hall towards Olivia's bedroom as she continued to run her hands through his hair between heated kissed. When the two made it to Olivia's room Jake gently placed Olivia on the bed before climbing out of his jeans and boxers, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Olivia had propped herself up on her elbows, feeling herself getting wet as she watched Jake strip down. Jake then climbed onto the bed and hovered over Olivia, a sly smile on his face. "Your turn." He whispered seductively as he began to kiss his way down Olivia's body starting at her neck. He made his past her collarbone and then down the valley of her breast, stopping to take her right breast in his mouth and then her left. Olivia was a moaning mess by the time Jake had made his way to her waist line. Olivia steadied her hips as Jake pulled off her pants in one swift motion. Olivia closed her eyes and tried to hold herself together as she fingers wrap around her panties and pulled them down. Jake was giving her exactly what she needed. She felt Jake run a finger across her clit and she knew she was beyond ready for him. As Jake brought his face back up to Olivia's, he entered her, causing her to let out a moan in pleasure. Olivia quickly pulled his face down to hers and kissed him with force as he moved inside her.

Jake and Olivia lay side-by-side a thin cover draped over them. Both had their eyes open and were lost in their own thoughts as they listened to the background noise of DC night traffic. Jake lay with an arm behind his head thinking about how much had changed since the two of them had returned from the island, but at the same time nothing had changed…he was still in love with her. He just hoped that maybe now she would be able to love him the same way. Olivia thought about what she was going to do now that she was no longer tied to the White House in any capacity, well except for Abby, but she was her best friend, that was different. Olivia turned over and cuddled up close to Jake's side, resting her head on his bare chest. Jake wrapped his other arm around Olivia pulling her closer to him, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. Olivia listened to the rise and fall of Jake's chest and believed in that moment all was right. "What now?" Jake asked calmly, breaking the silence between them. He was curious to see where the two of them went from here.

"Honestly, I don't know." Olivia replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I have been away for so long. After receiving a motivation review from a Guest, I have decided to back track on this story and give myself a fresh start I have deleted chapters 4 and 5. This is the new chapter 4. Chapters 1-3 have remained the same. My goal for this story was to dive into why Olivia cannot commit to Jake. Thank you for the support and for sticking with this story. I hope to update more now that I know the direction I want to go in. Enjoy! Let me know what you think.**

 **Guest: Thank you so much for your review. You have helped me realize that I have deviated from my original plan for this story and that I need to get back on the track. It was your review that really motivated me to restart this story! I hope you enjoy it and hopefully I get back on track. I cannot thank you enough for your constructive review and opening my eyes to what I was really trying to get from this story. I dedicate this chapter to you!**

Olivia cuddled close to Jake and rested her head on his chest as she fell asleep to the soft sounds of the nightly traffic. For the first time in six months Olivia felt free, she felt like she had finally regained her own being. She was no longer tethered to the White House or to Fitz, or to anyone for that matter. She was just Olivia Pope.

Jake laid awake, watching Olivia sleep. He wanted to stay there all night, but knew that he couldn't. Deep down Jake knew that Olivia wasn't ready for a relationship; what she really needed was some time alone to figure out what she wanted. Jake hoped that it would be him that she wanted, but that decision would be up to Olivia. He knew Fitz had been such a huge part of her life for the last eight years, and Jake was curious to see how she would handle the break up.

With one deep breath Jake slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake a sleeping Olivia. Jake gave her a final kiss on the top of her head before pulling his clothes on. When Jake got to the doorway he turned around and took one last look at Olivia; she looked so calm and peaceful. He knew that a good night's sleep would do her well. Jake then proceeded to leave making sure to quietly close the door behind him.

Olivia woke up the next morning to the soft rays of sunshine peeking through the curtains. Olivia glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was just past seven in the morning. She hadn't exactly slept in, considering she usually got up at six to swim, but she felt well-rested. Olivia could not remember the last time she had sleep this well. She sat up in bed stretched; and then noticed that Jake was no longer by her side.

Olivia got out of bed, pulled on her robe and walked into the kitchen; maybe Jake had already gotten up. There was no sign of Jake in the kitchen, Olivia walked back towards her bedroom calling out for Jake, but there was no response. Liv decided to shoot Jake a text to see where he was. After sitting on the bed for ten minutes with no response, she got in the shower; it was time to start the day with or without Jake.

Olivia got out of the shower and saw that Jake had replied with one word, home. Liv found it strange that Jake had up and left before she woke up, but Jake's whereabouts weren't really any of her concern. They were not in a relationship, he was free to come and go as he pleased, but the fact the he had left still rubbed Olivia the wrong. Olivia pushed Jake out of her mind for the time being, men were the last thing see needed to be worrying about. She got dressed in her classic all white pantsuit, poured a cup of coffee and headed over to OPA.

"You're here." Quinn stated surprised when Olivia walked into the conference room, consulting her watch, it was a little early for the boss to be there.

"I am. Is that a problem?" Olivia asked as she placed her Prada bag on the table and took a seat across from Quinn.

"Not at all. I just thought you were coming in at 11. I don't know the last time you were here this early." Quinn commented.

"We'll get used to it. When are Marcus and Huck coming in?" Olivia replied as she glanced around the office.

"They should be here soon. What did you mean by 'get used to it'?" Quinn asked.

"Let me know when they get here." Olivia commented brushing off Quinn's question. Olivia then got up and headed to her office. After hanging up her coat and purse Olivia sat at her desk and pulled out her laptop. However, she didn't turn the laptop on, instead she rested her face on her hands and stared at the wall. Her mind was elsewhere. Olivia was thinking about the White House; more specifically what Fitz was doing. Fitz had a meeting in the Sit Room at 9, then a conference call with the Prime Minister of France, then a meeting with the Speaker. And then they were supposed to go to a dinner party that night. Olivia closed her eyes to stop the thoughts; she made the decision to leave and it was the right choice, there was no reason to second guess it, or was there?

Olivia was relieved when Quinn poked her head in to tell her that Marcus and Huck had arrived. Olivia could now end her internal debate and focus on the present. Olivia took a deep breath before walking back out to the conference room.

"I'm only going to say this once." Olivia announced, getting the attention of her associates. "I'm back now, full time. Fitz and I are done. Now where are we with Megan Staner?"

Quinn, Huck and Marcus were all stunned to some degree about Olivia announcement, however they all knew better than to ask questions, knowing that eventually the reasoning would come out.

"Lisa the best friend was a dead end. The two were supposed to go out the night Megan went missing, but Lisa had to cancel because she got food poising." Quinn said.

"Via the traffic cams in front of her apparent I caught her getting into a back sedan at 9pm Friday, but with the angle of the cam I couldn't decipher the license plate, but I will keep working to see if another cam picked it up or if there is a different angle." Huck added.

"And her phone has been off since 11:30pm on Friday, so I haven't been able to access it." Marcus contributed.

"Two days and the phone hasn't turned on, not good." Huck commented.

"Maybe it died." Quinn countered trying to be optimistic. Huck shook his head in disagreement, but didn't say anymore on the matter.

"Quinn, you and I will look into other people that Megan may have been in contact with in the days leading up to her disappearance. Huck, Marcus, keep looking through traffic cams, we need that plate number." Olivia instructed as her team got to work.

Usually Olivia would leave the dirty work to her team, but she decided to help Quinn out so she could let her mind do something other than think about Fitz.

It was about 1 o'clock and Olivia was sitting alone in the conference room. She had excused her team for lunch about half an hour ago; she needed some time alone. Olivia thought about what she would be doing right know if she was at the White House. She was supposed to be teaching a group of kids about gardening and joy of growing fresh vegetables. Liv closed her eyes tightly trying to push the White House and the life that she left from her mind. That life wasn't Olivia. Olivia Pope did not choose China sets, teach America's youth about eating healthy, or make chit chat over snickerdoodles. Olivia Pope solved problems, saved reputations, and wore the white hat.

Olivia had been working tirelessly to convince herself that decision she made less than 12 hours ago was for herself. She did not need Fitz to tell her what to wear or how to act. What Olivia needed was to break the chain that held her to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Olivia was who she made herself to be, not the person that Fitz had manipulated her into being. Once again Olivia was telling herself if Fitz wanted her he would have to earn her. But just how many times could Olivia put herself through that painful cycle of Fitz wanting her, the two of them trying to make it work, and then it all crumbling to pieces.

Olivia let out a small scream as she pulled at her hair. She had to stop torturing herself the memories of the past. It was time to move on. Olivia needed to find herself. And in that moment Olivia decided that she was done trying to please the men in her life; from now on she was going to do whatever made her happy.

Huck, Quinn, Marcus, and Olivia worked well into the evening. Huck and Marcus, were able to track the sedan through traffic cams, which helped them get a part of the license plate number. They were also able to find where the sedan went after picking Megan up; a club. Now they had another place to look into. Olivia and Quinn made a short list of people that Megan had been in contact with that could possible know of her whereabouts.

"Good work everyone." Olivia stated out loud after pinning one last piece of information to the wall. "Tomorrow we find all of the black sedans with 7GH5, registered in the D.C. area and we see if we can narrow it down. We will also go see what information we can get from the club and these people that were in regular contact with Megan. Let's call it a day."

Olivia was the last one to leave the office, making sure all of the lights were turned off and the doors were locked before heading down the elevator.

On the way home Olivia picked up take out from her favorite Chinese restaurant. Once Olivia got home she changed into pajamas and her robe, heated up her dinner and then sat on the couch and turned on the nightly news. The chatter of the T.V. was interrupted by Olivia's home phone ringing. She picked it up.

"Hi." Said a familiar voice on the other end. Olivia hung up, she didn't want to talk to Fitz. However, less than ten seconds later her cell phone began ringing. As much as Olivia wanted to ignore the call, she knew that Fitz was a persistent man and that he wouldn't stop calling until she answered. Olivia picked up the phone, but didn't say anything.

"Livvy, don't hang up!" Fitz said as soon as Olivia picked up. She didn't respond.

"Liv, are you there?" Fitz asked.

"What do you want Fitz?" She replied exasperated. Olivia wanted this phone call to be over as soon as possible.

"I want you to come back to the White House, come back to me." Fitz pleaded.

"That's not going to happen." Liv replied, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever happened we can work it out." Fitz insisted.

"No we can't." Olivia said flatly.

"Talk to me Liv. We were finally happy. I don't understand what happened." Fitz responded.

"You were happy, but I wasn't. You want to know what happened, I was miserable. You made me miserable! I was trapped in that house, playing your arm candy. You never let me breathe, you were everywhere, suffocating me. I wasn't Olivia Pope anymore; I was the President's girlfriend; you took my identity from me. That's what happened." Olivia ranted, anger and frustration building up inside of her. Olivia couldn't stop the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Liv. I just wanted us to be together. Please give me another chance?" Fitz begged.

"I'm all out of chances to give Fitz. It's over for good this time." Olivia explained as she tried to hold back the tears.

"Don't do this Liv, please. I love you." Fitz replied his voice breaking as he too was getting emotional.

"I'm sorry. Goodnight Mr. President." Olivia said as she hung up the phone. Olivia could not stop the tears from falling, so she decided to just let all of her emotions out: the heartbreak, the anger, the sadness, the frustration, and the disappointment. Olivia sobbed freely, letting the large tears fall and stain the white pillow clutched to her chest. Olivia buried her face in the pillow and screamed; as much as she hurt, she felt better letting her emotions out in this way.

After ten minutes Olivia was still crying, she couldn't remember the last time she was this heartbroken. Olivia picked up her phone and called Jake. She needed his comfort. Jake picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Liv, what's up?" Jake asked, slightly out of breath from the ab workout he had just paused. Olivia couldn't form words, instead she just cried. Jake was caught completely off guard by this and his protective instincts kicked in.

"Olivia are you ok? Jake questioned.

"No, I'm not ok." Liv sobbed.

"Are you hurt?" Jake asked, his heart pounding in his chest.

"No." Olivia let out shakily. She could hear Jake exhale.

"What can I do Liv?" Jake questioned knowing she was in a fragile state.

"Can you come and be with me? I need someone." She asked.

"Of course. I will be over in ten minutes." Jake replied.

"Thank you." She added.

"Don't even mention it. Hang in there, I will see you soon." And with that he hung up.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for all the support. Sorry it has been so long, had a lot going on and with Scandal on such a long break I didn't have much motivation. If you are still reading this story let me know. Enjoy!**

Olivia tried to collect herself. She wiped the tears from her face and focused on the news; waiting for Jake to arrive. She needed to feel, she needed someone to tell her it was going to be ok, she need him.

Olivia sat on the couch in silence as she slowly sipped her wine waiting for Jake to arrive. It wasn't too long before Olivia heard a gentle knock at the door and rushed to open it. The moment Olivia opened the door she flung herself into Jake's arms as she let the tears fall again. This took Jake by surprise as he staggered backwards a few steps to support himself.

"It's ok Liv, I got you." Jake assured her as he assured them inside. Olivia walked over to the couch and Jake took a seat next to her.

"What happened Olivia?" Jake asked noticing the half empty wine bottle on the table.

"He called tonight." Olivia replied. Jake didn't need any explanation he understood who "he" was and could understand why Olivia was so upset. He had seen first-hand how complicated her relationship was with the President. Jake also knew that each time Fitz and Liv took a break it was hard on both of them, but what irritated Jake the most was that Fitz just didn't know how to let Liv go.

"Why did you answer?" Jake questioned. Although it pained Jake to see Olivia go this, he didn't like to let Liv off the hook completely, as she brought a lot of this torture upon herself by giving in to Fitz. Liv nor Fitz were innocent when it came to their relationship.

"I hung up the first time, but then he called again and I just knew he wouldn't give up until I talked to him." Olivia replied truthfully, as she wiped the last of her tears on her sleeve. "I explained to him that I was done for good this time. He didn't like that."

"I bet he didn't." Jake agreed with a small smile.

It was silent for a few moments as Jake and Oliva were each lost in their own thoughts.

"Are you really done for good?" Jake asked breaking the silence.

"Yes. I can't keep doing this with him, it's too painful." Olivia paused for a moment before continuing. "You know I once told someone that I wanted painful, devastating, extraordinary love and they told me I was crazy. The said that what I was describing wasn't true love. They were right, love should be easy and effortless, like it is with you."

Jake thought he had heard an underlying message, but he never liked to make assumptions when it came to Olivia. He needed her to spell it out for him. "What are you saying?" he asked hesitantly.

"I have made my fair share of mistakes, but my biggest one is never giving you a chance. From day one you have been here for me, protecting me, loving me and I have always taken that for granted. Despite all my flaws and the pain I have caused you, you still answer every time I call. You love me unconditionally, and I took advantage of that. I'm sorry. I love you Jake, and I have done a crappy job of showing you that because it has always made me feel so conflicted, but I would like to give you a chance, us the chance I have been too scared to." Olivia explained as she poured her heart out to Jake. It wasn't often that Olivia let anyone see her true feelings, especially men, but it was time to let Jake in. If she and Jake were going to be together she had to tell him the truth. Olivia had buried her feeling for him for too long.

Jake was shocked into silence. Deep down he knew that Olivia had real feeling for him, but he never expected her to express them so openly. Looking into her dark brown eyes Jake could see that Olivia wasn't holding anything back, these were her true feelings. Next, Jake leaned forward placing his hand on her cheek before capturing her lips with his. Olivia kissed him back with all the passion she could muster, and when the two finally broke apart Jake had a huge grin on his face. The woman he had loved for years was finally, capable of loving him back.

"What are you smiling at?" Olivia asked, as she playfully smacked Jake with the back of her hand. He was wearing his big goofy smile that drove Olivia crazy because it made him look like a big dork. But, Olivia had to admit he was a cute dork.

Jake relaxed his smile into a more serious face. "I have never stopped loving you and I never will. I love you Olivia Carolyn Pope."

"I love you too." Olivia said as she leaned in to kiss Jake, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She could now freely admit her feelings for Jake without guilt or sense of betrayal.

The sun peeping through the curtains the next morning woke Olivia from here sleep. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. It was too bright to be 8am. Olivia whipped her head around to look at her clock and saw that it was ten thirty. Shit. She was late for work and she had a client meeting at 9am that she had missed.

"Quinn." Olivia barked as she grabbed an outfit while trying to talk on the phone.

"Liv, where are you? We had a client this morning. I told her that you were feeling ill and to come back at one thirty." Quinn answered, sounding concerned. It wasn't like Olivia to be late.

"I'm sorry. I meant to call, something came up this morning. Thank you for handling things. I will see you in half an hour." Olivia replied before hanging up.

"Jake! Get up!" Olivia yelled throwing a pillow at him.

"What?" Jake asked groggily as he rolled over to see Olivia standing with her hands on her hips ready to lecture him.

"I'm late and it's all your fault." Olivia blamed.

"How?" Jake questioned as he rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of grey sweat pants.

"We were up late last night talking and I forgot to set my alarm. I missed a client this morning." Olivia informed him.

"I still don't see how this is my fault." Jake replied, picking up shirt and walking over to Olivia. "I thought you liked having me here." Jake grinned, as Olivia blushed. "Ah Ha! I knew it." Jake proclaimed as he saw Olivia's hard exterior cracking with the smile that was forming on her lips. Jake then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I don't have time for this." Olivia said as he backed out of the kiss and grabbed her purse. "Please lock up when you leave." She called over her shoulder as Jake heard the front door close.

Olivia checked her watch as she rode the elevator up to her office, she was within the thirty-minute window she had given Quinn.

"Your late." Marcus accused as Olivia walked into the conference room. Olivia gave him a look before turning her attention to Quinn. "What do we know about the client?"

"Her name is Maggie Lewis and she is a retired school teacher. That's all she would say." Quinn said.

"Ok. And where are we with finding Megan?" Olivia asked.

"Marcus and I are about to head over to the club to see if anyone there saw her. Huck found a reflection of the driver in the window and is trying to enhance the image to see if there is any way to identify him." Quinn reported.

"Keep me posted and be back before our new client comes in." With that Olivia walked into her office and hung up her purse and jacket. She had just turned on her computer when Huck walked in.

"Huck, did you identify the driver." Olivia asked hopefully. Huck shook his head. "What is it?" Olivia questioned sensing an uneasiness in his demeanor.

"Given what we know Megan's chances of being alive are 26%." Huck said.

"I don't like odds." Liv replied in a knowing tone.

"I think we need to prepare ourselves for the worst." Huck commented.

"Worst case scenario Megan is dead. If so, we find her murderers and bring them to justice. No matter what we keep working until we find Megan or answers." Liv added. Huck nodded one final time before turning and going back to his office.

Olivia let out a deep breath as her office door closed behind Huck. Olivia had been in the business long enough to know that Huck was right. Megan had been missing for three days and neither her team nor the police had come up with any real answers. Regardless, Olivia was determined to get justice in this case. Olivia had done a lot of losing in her professional and personally life lately, she was ready to be winner again. Ready to wear the white hat.


End file.
